


Mrs. Dickinson

by RosieTarnation



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieTarnation/pseuds/RosieTarnation
Summary: Set after Season 1.After the wedding, it takes Sue a while to get used to her new name.
Relationships: Austin Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert, Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	Mrs. Dickinson

The first time Sue heard it, she was on that hot air balloon. The wedding was something of a blur – she was glad to have it over with and glad that this new part of her life could begin. 

She looked down from the hot air balloon, feeling her stomach tie in knots and telling herself it was just because of the height. She had no regrets – she knew she needed to get married because a marriage provided stability and security she just couldn’t get on her own. She knew she could do worse than Austin and she didn’t let herself think about doing better.

Still, she stepped back from the wall of the basket, still watching the Dickinson home get smaller and smaller beneath her feet as she and Austin drifted further and further from everything they knew.

“Are you alright, Mrs. Dickinson?” Austin asked, looking over at her when he felt her fall out from under his arm as she stepped back.

She stayed looking out at the house, though. She could see people waving, blurry movements in the distance, but she couldn’t make out faces or identities anymore. She heard Austin speaking, but it didn’t register in her brain.

“Mrs. Dickinson,” Austin tried again, straightening up a bit, looking over at her. He spoke louder, thinking the wind and the roar of the fire inflating the balloon were too loud for her to hear him. “Hey.”

“What?” Sue asked. She looked over at him. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said, are you alright?” he asked, stepping back so he could put an arm around her again. He gave her a little squeeze. “ _Mrs. Dickinson?_ ” He smiled wide.

“Oh, you were talking to me,” she said. She returned his smile, knowing he wouldn’t notice the force behind it. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She put an arm around his waist.

Austin was still smiling. “This is the best day of our lives. You’re my wife.”

Sue nodded. “We’re married,” she agreed.

They stood like that for a little while, watching as everything got smaller below though.

“Austin, you know how to land this, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “Don’t worry, wife of mine.”

Sue nodded. The hot air balloon had been a surprise – Austin hadn’t told her about it. After the ceremony, he handed her off to his mother and she escorted Sue upstairs for a quick dress change (in Lavinia’s room, now, not Emily’s. Sue only looked at Emily’s closed door for a second before she was herded into Lavinia’s room.). 

She got changed into warmer clothes and came downstairs and outside to the site of a fully inflated hot air balloon, with Austin standing by the basket with his hand out for her. 

So, she never got the chance to mention her mild fear of heights.

**\--**

They spent two weeks on their honeymoon, traveling to Boston and showing off their new union to Society. Austin met with a few clients and a few more perspective clients, farmed dutifully from old classmates with different specialties and a few contacts he made on his own.

Sue, for her part, filled the role of dutiful wife. She entertained the other wives, so kept up with the men’s jokes but never made one herself without giving the chance to them to think of it first. This was a role she’d been training for her entire life, and she excelled at it.

They spent nearly every night at dinners with people Sue had to be introduced to. She dressed the part and performed it beautifully, instantly picking up the names of Austin’s acquaintances and their wives, where they were from, what they did, how Austin knew them. She knew just how to slyly compliment Austin so they knew to trust him as a lawyer without feeling like they were being pitched to. She knew how to talk up their new home – which she still hadn’t seen the inside of – so that everyone knew the Dickinsons had money. It was a marketing tour as much as it was a honeymoon and she sold their product well.

After these long dinners, they’d go to their hotel and be just about too exhausted to do anything for very long.

So, they worked fast.

“I must say,” Austin said, kissing her neck as he undid her corset. “You looked especially beautiful tonight.”

Sue smiled to herself. She’d been a little worried about fitting in with Boston high society, but she was able to work her dresses into something that fit in.

“Thank you,” she said. She could feel Austin having trouble with her corset so she swiftly turned, moving his hands from her corset to her hips and untying her corset herself. She kissed him as she let him take her corset off.

“I think this whole ‘wife thing' agrees with you,” he said softly into her ear. “Mrs. Dickinson.”

Sue jerked back.

“What?” Austin asked. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Sue said. She hadn’t meant to jerk back like that; the movement was entirely reflexive. “I’m fine,” she repeated, trying to think of the way to explain this. “I just…Mrs. Dickinson is your mother.”

Austin frowned. “You’re Mrs. Dickinson.” He pulled her closer, grinning. “You’re _my_ Mrs. Dickinson.”

“I know,” Sue said, smiling a bit so he could see it. She did pull back a bit, though. “I…I’m not used to it yet, I guess. I mean, three days ago, I was just Sue, and Mrs. Dickinson was your mother.”

Austin nodded. “I get it,” he said. “I’ve wondered about this, how it must be hard for women to have to answer to a new name when they get married.”

Sue smiled a bit again, for real this time. “Yes,” she said, relieved that he got it. “Thank you. It’s just a little…much. I think I need a little time before I’m ready to hear it from you, here.”

Austin nodded. “I understand. No more ‘Mrs. Dickinson’ in the bedroom.”

“Thank you, Austin,” she said, stepping closer again, holding him by the collar and kissing him. She moved he hands down from his collar, to his buttons. “Where were we?”

Austin grinned. He still had her corset in his hands, so he playfully tossed it to the other side of the room and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her neck again and spoke gently into her ear. “Right here, wife.”

**\--**

They returned to Boston and the Dickinson family was waiting outside to greet them.

“Austin!” Mr. Dickinson said, getting his son with a firm handshake and ignoring how Austin opened himself up for a hug. He then took Sue’s hand and kissed it in greeting. “And his beautiful wife.”

“Dad,” Austin said, straightening his suit jacket then putting a hand on Sue’s back as they made it through the receiving line.

“Mr. Dickinson,” Sue greeted politely.

“Oh, Austin, my boy’s married!” his mother said, hugging him tightly. Austin grinned, hugging her back.

“Now, Mrs. Dickinson,” he started, getting both his wife’s and his daughter-in-law’s attention, which gave him satisfaction. “My wife,” he amended. “Austin’s a grown, married man. He can do with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, if he’s among family.”

Mrs. Dickinson pulled back and Austin’s grin was gone.

“I’m just happy you’re back,” she said. “You and your wife.”

Sue smiled a bit. “We’re happy to be back. Thank you for such a warm welcome.”

They moved down the line. Though Lavinia was the youngest, she was the next in line. She gave Austin and Sue each a warm hug, promising to get stories about their travels out of them later.

Then there was Emily.

“Emily,” Austin said, not even offering to hug her.

“Austin,” she said. “Welcome home.”

His face faltered a bit. He wasn’t expecting Emily to be nice like this and Emily knew it. She pushed down the feeling rising in her chest, the one that twisted her part with the idea that her brother now only expected the worst from her. He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

“Sue, you as well,” Emily said. “Welcome home.”

It was a very diplomatic thing to say, which surprised pretty much everyone. Emily spent most of the last two weeks in her room, writing and compiling poetry books, so no one had heard her rehearse what she should say in order to make it feel like a new start, like she’d accepted how things were and she didn’t want any trouble.

Emily felt the tension – Austin had obviously expected her to do something, and her parents likely had as well. None of them had really seen her in weeks so they hadn’t seen how she’d grown in such a short time.

Sue wiped her eyes.

“Goodness,” she said. “I’ve gotten so used to springtime in Boston that I worry I’m not used to the air here anymore.”

“Come, let’s go inside,” Austin said. “To our new home, for my new wife.” 

He steered her toward their door, leaving everyone – including a confused Emily – behind.

**\--**

“This was a lovely dinner, Mrs. Dickinson,” Sue said. “Thank you.” She and Austin had gone to the Dickinson’s for a welcome home dinner that night.

“Oh, it’s a very simple recipe,” Mrs. Dickinson said. “I’ll pass it along to you. It only takes five hours and it’s perfect for entertaining. Don’t worry, dear, I’m sure if you practice you’ll get it just right in no time.”

Sue again forced a smile. “Thank you.”

“Sue, didn’t you cook a bit in Boston?” Lavinia asked. “I remember seeing that in your letter.”

“Yes,” Sue said, grateful for the little bit of promotion from her sister-in-law. “Yes, one of Austin’s friend’s, William Scott, his wife Maria prepared us a lovely dinner and she let me help.”

“Don’t worry mother,” Austin said. “The new Mrs. Dickinson is an excellent cook, and she’s been practicing.” He put a hand on her knee under the table.

“Austin,” Mr. Dickinson said, standing. “Join me in the next room, I’ve got a new bottle of brandy I’ve been saving for your homecoming.”

“Sure,” Austin said, standing. “I mean, of course. Father.”

They went into the next room, leaving just the women in the dining room.

“Please,” Sue said. “Mrs. Dickinson, you prepared such a lovely meal for our homecoming. Why don’t you go rest and I’ll clean this up?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Emily said, practically the first time she’d spoken all night. “Go rest, we’ll take care of this.”

To Sue’s surprise, Mrs. Dickinson didn’t protest at all. She just nodded and went up. She could tell something was different about her – she seemed a bit more tired, a bit more slow, but this was by far the most striking change in behavior. 

“You don’t need to help us clean up, Sue,” Emily said once her mother left. “You’ve been travelling all day. You should rest, too.”

“I’m alright,” Sue said.

“It’s really nice to have you back, Sue,” Lavinia said. “It’s been so boring; you and Austin are gone, Emily just sits in her room and writes, no one sits for my portraits.”

“I’ll sit for a portrait,” Sue said. “How much do you charge?”

“I don’t charge anything,” Lavinia said. “Father thinks it’s improper.”

“Well, I won’t tell him,” Sue said. “Austin wanted to get a portrait in Boston, anyway, but there wasn’t time. Once we get more settled here, we’d love a portrait.”

Lavinia smiled. “Okay. Thanks.” She looked between Sue and Emily and noticed how they stood at opposite ends of the table. “I’m going to take this down to the kitchen,” she said, taking whatever platter was in front of her. “And talk to Maggie for a while about…something.”

With that, Lavinia left, leaving just Emily and Sue in the room.

“How are you?” Emily asked immediately.

“I’m well,” Sue said. “Really.”

Emily looked relieved. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“How are you?” Sue asked. They were still at opposite ends of the table but they were trying to speak as low as possible, so as the conversation progressed, they moved closer to each other. “Things around here seem…different.”

“Yeah, everyone’s still coming off the wedding high,” Emily said. “To be honest, though, this is the most time I’ve spent with them in a while.”

“You’ve been writing.”

Emily smiled a bit. “Yeah,” she said. “It feels like I’ve been writing nonstop for two weeks.”

Sue smiled, too. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

“I’m a poet,” Emily said.

Sue nodded. “I know.”

“I know you know,” Emily said, grinning a bit still. “You always knew. I just…I’ve been needing to say it and there hasn’t been…”. She cleared her throat a bit, trying to figure out where their new line was. “Anyone.”

Sue nodded, taking a few steps so now they were standing directly across from each other. “You’re a brilliant poet.”

Emily held her gaze, standing over the table that was in the home that no longer was where Sue stayed.

“I can’t wait to read them,” Sue said. “If you’ll let me.”

“Of course, Sue,” Emily said, feeling more and more tension fall away the more they spoke. “My poems are always for you.”

Sue let out something like a laugh. “You’re the first person to call me ‘Sue’ in two weeks.”

“What?”

“Everyone – _everyone_ – has been calling me ‘Mrs. Dickinson’ or ‘Mrs. Austin Dickinson’ or ‘Austin’s wife’ for two weeks. No one called me ‘Sue’ until you called me it outside.”

Emily didn’t know what to say. “Wow,” she managed. “I’m sorry. That’s bullshit.”

“I mean, it’s part of the deal,” Sue said.

“It shouldn’t be.”

“I want to be a Dickinson,” Sue asserted. “I am a Dickinson. I don’t hate being called that. I hate…I hate not being Sue.”

“Austin doesn’t even call you ‘Sue’?”

“He calls me his wife,” Sue replied. “Or ‘Mrs. Dickinson’.”

“Even when-?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, no.”

“Yep!”

Emily exhaled deeply. She wasn’t sure where to go with that, either. She wasn’t sure she wanted know the answer, either, but she couldn’t help but ask.

“I mean, I put an end to that,” Sue said. She sighed. “It’s nice to be called Sue. Thank you for that.”

“Yeah, anytime,” Emily said.

“So,” Sue said, having had enough of talking about her feelings. “How are you?”

“Good,” Emily said, feeling them fall back into a familiar pattern and liking it. It didn’t hurt like it did right before the wedding. “I’ve been writing, I’ve been working on stuff.”

“Working on what?” Sue asked, joining her in actually cleaning up the table.

“Oh, you know,” Emily said. “Me.”

Sue looked up at that.

“I know we need to talk about the wedding,” Emily said. “And it’s kind of a long story. But this is your life and I want you to be happy, so I’m good with it.”

“You’re good with it?”

“I’m better with it,” Emily said. “I know it wasn’t easy to go through everything you’ve been through, I know you put a lot of work into making your life like this. And I don’t want to make it any harder anymore.”

“You didn’t make it harder,” Sue said.

Emily gave her a look, but continued. “I want our relationship, whatever it is, to be what it is. I’m tired of being sad about how I want my life to be.”

Sue looked at Emily and found it hard to believe they’d only been apart for two weeks. Emily had grown so much in that time.

“Okay,” Sue said. “I’m happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you, too.”

There was a lot more for them to talk about, but it could wait. The most important part was done – they both had spent the last two weeks worrying that it would be too awkward, too weird, too painful to be around each other again, but they worked through it. They had time for the rest of it. They were Emily and Sue – they’d figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Lavinia a lot, okay? And Emily just really *gets* Sue. 
> 
> Also I think everyone has grown and/or changed a lot in the two weeks since the wedding, since the wedding marks like a new phase for the family (Austin's gone and also A Real Adult now). A lot was set up in the season finale - Mr. Dickinson is home, Mrs. Dickinson isn't doing well, Lavinia's more independent, Emily is really coming into her own/growing up, Sue got what she wanted i.e. a marriage. So if the characterization seems a little jarring, I was going for 1) it's jarring to Sue because she's been away and 2) they changed a lot fast.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


End file.
